No Stigma, Just Solutions: One Man's Journey Through Prostate Cancer, Incontinence, and Self-Acceptance

We are taught, as toddlers, to use the toilet. Perhaps the way that has to be drummed into children is why so many fear incontinence and the judgment of society on them for being incontinent. Some of that fear is valid, though much is probably overstated, at least that is my personal experience. Nonetheless, incontinence tends to be a side effect or consequence of illness, injury, or aging, and facing the primary effects is often much more daunting.

Around 2005 or thereabouts, I noticed an increasing difficulty to prevent myself from wetting my pants during urination. This got bad enough that I started wearing pads, which kept my underwear and pants dry. A trip to the urologist led to a diagnosis of benign prostatic hypertrophy (BPH) — common among all aging men, I was 51 at the time. He instructed me on how to do Kegel exercises and tested me for urinary retention. It turned out, then and now, that retention isn't my issue. Dribbling was what I had, and using pads helped while the Kegels never really seemed to do much of anything.

The urologist had predicted that in about 10 years I would need an operation for BPH called a TURP. He was wrong, as increasing PSA showed a different problem with my prostate. After a biopsy, it was concluded that I had cancer in both hemispheres of my prostate, and though not high risk, it was extensive enough that surgery was the best option. Indeed, the prostate was 50% cancer, and the prostatectomy performed in 2015 was very successful, as I have had no recurrences of the cancer.

The prostate tumors, or their removal, did leave me with a reminder. Since 2015, I've been urinary incontinent; exactly why isn't clear, except that some nerves couldn't be spared during my surgery. The pads I had used weren't enough to help. Through the years, I've experimented with different products and have found that NorthShore GoSupreme pull-ups and AirSupreme tabbed briefs are great solutions. I wear the tabbed brief or diaper overnight. Rarely do I have a wetting problem unless something is ajar down there. These products give me the security of living a normal life. The quality and appearance of the NorthShore products is first rate, and their service is fantastic. The AirSupreme diapers are very effective, though I have also tried MegaMax and can see that I will probably end up using those more often.

In the last 10 years I've had an issue or two, such as a total knee replacement that has sent me to surgery. While that has its own problems, it was enlightening to see just how little the nurses and doctors, whether in the hospital or in doctors' offices, are concerned with incontinent patients. This is actually great — I tell them I wear incontinence products due to prostate cancer surgery, and the response is always something like, "Oh, yeah, thanks for letting me know." To medical personnel, this is common enough that they are routinely understanding. Good way to handle the supposed stigma.

 

Thank you for reading our customer stories. NorthShore works to remove the confusion and isolation surrounding incontinence, helping individuals better understand that “incontinence is very common, often treatable, and regardless, very manageable.” — Adam Greenberg, President & Founder of NorthShore We are grateful for the opportunity to share these journeys and provide products that help people live life to the fullest. Learn more about sharing your story through the NorthShore Hero Club. Have a story to share? Submit it below to help others feel less alone.

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