5 Tips for Staying Fit and Diapered

Everyone’s journey is different. This article is not a call to action; it’s a fun look at exercise and health from an ABDL perspective. 

Number One: Exercise like a Toddler

One of the biggest hurdles when it comes to doing a consistent exercise routine, at least in my opinion, is that it’s boooring. Do twenty reps of lifting your arms this way, then twenty reps of lifting your arm that way, then get distracted by what’s outside and lose all will to continue. 

With the power of imagination, we can make it a lot more fun. Here’s an exercise set inspired by little space that requires no extra equipment. *It’s a good idea to look up the basic exercise first; form is very important. These are meant to be silly, not comprehensive, and inspire a full-body workout. 

1. Cookie Reaches (Calf Raises): Stand up and really reach for those cookies. Reach as far as you can until you have to stand on your tippy toes to get the base of the jar. Then just do that about 20 times.

2. Superhero Landings (Squats): Be like Max (or any of the PACK) and practice your mighty superhero landings. Do a light hop into the air, then do an epic landing by bending your knees and lowering your fists to your sides all cool like. Stand up slowly, then do it again! Ten of those should do it.  

3. Dead-Bugs (Core Exercise): Oh no. You are a beetle, and you have fallen on your back. As death comes slowly, you wriggle your limbs, raising one arm straight up from the ground and bringing the opposite knee up towards your chest, then lowering them slowly as you bring the other arm up, and the other knee up. Ten reps make for a great core workout.

4. Plastic Army Man Walk (Hip Twist): You are Sargent McCoolPerson, plastic army man commando. Your feet are fused about shoulder-width apart, and you are carrying a rifle out in front of you. Walk to your post by lifting one foot off the ground and rotating your hips in the direction you want to go, then lift the other foot and rotate the other way. If you want to really show off your skills, hold a dumbbell or other weight as your rifle. Twenty steps is a good place to start.

5. Learning to Stand (Tricept Dips/Push Ups): Before you can walk, you have to learn to stand. Crawl over to a chair, bench, or low table. Put your back to it, grip the edge with your hands (elbows up by your shoulders), and push yourself up. Be careful not to lose your balance as you practice standing multiple times. 

Number Two (hehe): Dress for the Playground

The wrong outfit at the gym can turn gains into pains. I have a feeling that joke also causes pain, and I regret nothing. Big diapers and frilly skirts are in vogue, but should probably be avoided when doing a lot of exercise unless you want chafing and tears. 

Dressing for freedom of movement and comfort is important for fitness. Not just because you don’t want to be uncomfortable when lifting, but there’s a psychological element to it. By dressing and preparing to do a workout, you have more willpower to follow through and make it worth it.  

You can also look awesome doing it. The NorthShore Typhos TankTop has rapidly become part of my own activewear rotation and makes a great outfit for any active day. Just add pants and some Pack Pals. 

Mutt Pro Tip: Wear compression shorts or other forms of “athletic support” over a diaper to really keep everything in place and prevent thigh rub.  

Number Three: Eat Off the Kid’s Menu

Food is the counterpart to exercise. You can’t outrun your fork, as they say. But meal shakes and broccoli are so boring. 

It doesn’t have to be like that. Mac and cheese made with protein noodles and blended spinach isn’t as good as the blue box king, but it can still be a lot of fun to pair with your favorite cut-up hot dogs. It’s simple substitutions like that which can make all the difference.

If replacing and trimming down your childhood favorites doesn’t scratch the itch, don’t worry if you just need to go for the real thing. A small bowl of sugary cereal or the occasional box of mini pizza bagels isn’t going to destroy all your gains. You just have to remember to do it in moderation, and maybe have one of those boring meals next time.

Number Four: Take a Nap

Sometimes the best lesson we can learn from the good old days of kindergarten is that it’s ok to take a break sometimes and get some sleep. Rest is a really important part of personal health, and is extra important when doing regular exercise. 

Overdoing it is one of the primary ways people get injured when doing an activity. The body needs time to repair and rebuild. Get the blanket out, grab your favorite stuffy, and take a nap by choice before your body forces you to. 

Number Five: PLAY!

Remember running around the playground and swinging on the monkey bars? Or jumping in puddles, or climbing trees? All of that is free, burns calories, and builds muscles.

Play is the cornerstone of fitness for most of our time growing up. Sometimes the most effective thing we can do as we continue forward is to remember that. 

There’s so much we used to do that is great exercise. If you need a place to start, consider chasing bugs through a forest or finding cool rocks and plants. Hiking builds balance, strengthens leg muscles, and walking is considered one of the best things we can do for heart health.

It can be daunting to start an entire routine and focus on fitness, but it doesn’t have to be. You can pretend to grab cookies, wear the diapers, eat the mac and cheese, rest, and play your way to your goals. 

About the Author

Mutt, or MutterButter on socials, is an essayist residing in Pennsylvania who enjoys backpacking, fencing, and being buried under a mountain of plushies while laying in a dog bed after drinking a lot of sake. They once had an internal ethical dilemma about completing a motorcycle rally while wearing a diaper, unsure if the extra padding detracted from the title “Iron Butt” enough to warrant giving the plaque back. Sometimes they play a deer on the internet.